Twenty-five years ago I lost my family. My husband Albert, and my sons Justin and Jared were on their way home from a super bowl party when a drunk driver crashed into them.
In my last post, I explained how this shocking experience caused me to freeze up and lose my ability to breathe. It took me a while for it to become automatic again, not sure exactly when that happened, but it did. This is something we take for granted all the time.
So here I am 25 years later. I’ve made some mistakes along the way and learned a lot of lessons since then, and SoulWorkers, I’d like to share them with you.
1. First, get help, get support. It doesn’t matter if it’s a social worker, a grief recovery specialist or a trusted family member. Don’t isolate, find your tribe of like-minded people, and share your heart. If you don’t have a support system, create one.
2. Get moving. Exercise your body to move out all the emotion that needs to be released. Allow it to be expelled and cleansed through your breath your sweat and your tears. Exercise can be walking, hiking, swimming, dancing, gardening. Find your passion and commit to something that feels good. Your body will be grateful.
3. Cultivate a spiritual practice. This could look like meditation, prayer, star gazing or reading inspiring books. Whatever it is, do something daily that makes your heart sing, to stay balanced and clear.
4. Be patient. Grief is hard work, be gentle with yourself, nourish all parts of YOU. TEARS DON’T DISAPPEAR BECAUSE TIME HAS PASSED. Allow for the tears to flow when they show up and know that this too is the process of grief.
5. Remember that grief is simply, something that has happened to you. Don’t let it define you.
6. For some of us, it’s a slow birth back into the breath and light of life, as I know so well. I will forever miss my guys – the laughter, love, hugs and even the chaos of trying to balance two very different young men. My family was the biggest blessing of my life.
For me, I look for what feeds my soul, and I move forward knowing that I can always make another choice. I am always working towards shining my light.
SoulWorkers, the world needs us to shine our light. Are you with me?